Confidence is the one character trait that will make or break your social game. Having a nice personality to boot is a major plus of course, but without confidence you will never be able to show it in its full glory.
Many of the worlds most successful people credit their success to their confidence. Yet they very rarely explain what methods they used to build up that level of confidence. That is something we fill focus on in this article.
So without further ado, lets get into the strategies you can use to build your confidence.
1. Don’t Fear Failure
The main reason we lack confidence, is because we are afraid of failing at what we are trying to accomplish. Ever been scared to go up to your crush and ask them out on a date? This is a very common example of where our fear of failure overrules our confidence.
Think about it this way: you will never get the outcome you desire if you fail to act. Get in the mindset of telling yourself that achieving your goals is more important than a temporary setback.
Know that you are not alone in this struggle. Even the most successful people in the world have been scared of failing.
When you catch yourself in a moment where you feel like your confidence is slipping, take a deep breath, count to 3, and go for it. Set that fear aside and work towards achieving that goal!
2. Don’t Worry What Others Think
I feel that this one is closely linked to the previous point made. Take the example of asking out your crush again. Not only might you be afraid to get rejected, you might also be worried about what your friends or the people around might think of you after you get rejected.
You have to realize that we always overestimate the level of attention other people pay to us. You might have something embarrassing happening to you, and you will sulk over it for days. While the people who saw that likely have already forgotten it within 10 minutes of it happening.
My personal way of tackling this issue was adopting stoic philosophy. See point 6 for more information.
3. Accomplish Your Goals
Have you ever noticed that when you finish a tough workout or complete an important goal, you get a rush of confidence? If you have been looking at self-improvement for a while, you might have been told numerous times that you should always make your bed right after you wake up, so that you start the day with a goal already completed.
That is simply because a large part of our confidence is build up via accomplishments. Whenever we do the things we wanted to do, our brain gets a little bit of a dopamine rush. Plenty of research has shown a direct correlation between your dopamine and confidence levels!
In order to maximally benefit from this, get in the habit of setting small goals for yourself throughout the day. These can be as simple as walking into the office and saying hi to your boss, or your professor if you are a student.
If you set these simple goals you will get your dopamine rush, and your confidence levels will likely rise as a result!
This is perhaps the one method that I personally used to greatest effect. I have never been too comfortable with my body, and the gym really changed that.
I went from wearing hoodies and larger clothing, to being super comfortable in a tight t-shirt all due to exercise. Now I will say that this took some time.
Sure you will feel great after your first couple of workouts, but real change takes time. I can promise you the feeling after you have been working out for months and can actually see noticeable results, are 10x better than the dopamine rush you get after a workout.
Keep exercising, stick with it and the results will come flooding in, I promise ya!
5. Comparison is the thief of joy
Something all of us have done a multitude of times is compare ourselves with someone else. It is basic human nature, and we subconsciously use it as a metric to determine our standings in society.
It can often be a viable tool to keep us on the correct path, like comparing how many hours we study in relation to other classmates might give us an indication if we are doing enough to keep up. It can however also have drastic negative impacts in our lifes.
Comparing ourselves to more successful people, especially if they are in a position that we want to attain, can create feelings of frustration, sadness, and depression.
Remember that life isn’t fair. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages that heavily influence our current situation. It is easier said than done to not compare yourself to others.
The most effective strategy I have used is that of stoic philosophy (see below)
6. Adopting Stoic Philosphy
Stoic philosophy has been around for thousands of years. At the very core of the stoic philosophy lies the notion that we must not worry about the things we cannot control, only worry about those of which we can affect.
This goes right in line with the above points. The stoics do not worry about what others think of them, as it is not under there control. In a similar fashion they do not compare themselves with others, because what good does that do for them.
The stoic philosophy is way too vast to explain in this small section within the article. I will be writing a lot more on this philosophy in the future, so stay tuned. But for the time being, make sure you search other websites teaching this philosophy, because it can really change how you see yourself and others.
7. Practice Makes Perfect
This is starting to become a common theme here in my articles, but I cannot stress it enough. You got to practice, practice and practice. This stuff is hard work, and it doesn’t come quick. The longer you spend time practicing these techniques and honing your skills, the more of a positive impact you will see in yourself.